Dear Caroline

Like many, I have been devastated by the news of Caroline Flack's death last weekend. She was so relatable to so many which is why it is still such a shock and I really still can't believe it. This is my letter to Caroline Flack, someone who admired her but didn't know her.

Dear Caroline,

You don't know me and I don't know you but I feel like I do know you. I don't read any of the tabloid papers but I know they have been unkind to you. Whatever was written about you I knew not to believe it. I hope that you have found peace where you are now and I am deeply sorry that this life didn't treat you with love and kindness like you deserved.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I wish the world had been kinder to you.

I understand that you may have thought that this was your only way out. There have been so many heartfelt messages about your passing. I wish you knew just how loved you are in this world.

I have been feeling pretty low lately so I understand why you did what you did, but I don't want to compare our lives. I loved your style and your hair styles. You have been someone who I have found so relatable in so many ways. I could see us hanging out, going to parties and gigs together and going on holidays. Maybe one day we meet each other and hang out together.

For now, I want you to know that you may be gone but you aren't forgotten and nor will you ever be. You have touched so many lives with your smile, laugh and memory will live on with so many. Thank you for touching so many people's lives and being so inspiring and relatable. You are human like us all and we all make mistakes but we still love you. I know I am not the only one who feels the way I do about you. If only we had spoken up more when you were alive then maybe this wouldn't have happened. I am sorry I didn't do more and I am sorry you didn't know all this when you were alive.

Your passing has been such a huge shock to so many and so upsetting. I have cried uncontrollably for you and about you and yet we have never met. I feel like I have lost a friend. I still can't believe you are gone. I have cried that you are no longer here, I have cried at your friends posts and tributes about you. So many people have been so devastated about your death but this isn't to make you feel guilty I just wish you knew this when you were alive how truly loved you were. We should have all done better when you were alive. But there is no blame here and no what ifs. I know you don't blame anyone because you are so kind. I didn't know the real you. I can only imagine how your friends and family must be feeling. The most devastating thing is you thought there was no other way out. I am heartbroken that you even felt this way. I am sorry I didn't reach out to you more. I could see you were hurting but I didn't reach out more than the odd message.

I am so sorry that this has ended the way it has. I really hope you have found your peace. You will not be forgotten. Thank you for being you and touching so many lives.

Rest in peace Caroline.

Much love Gem xxx